People
often prefer to believe that it’s possible to hide pieces of ourselves that we
don’t want people to see. And the fact is what we want to hide from others is
something that we fear to face ourselves. The less we face these parts of
ourselves, the more they hurt us. Learning about ourselves and facing all the
facts of ourselves, especially those that we strive not to see, is the key to
integration with ourselves, as well as connecting with other people. The less
fluidity within ourselves to go in and out of our emotional spaces, the more
likely ruptures will be caused in our relationships when blocked avenues
explode.
Facing
ourselves and integrating with ourselves will open the door to more connection,
comfortable exchanges, and less anxiety in all types of relationships. Social
anxiety generally stems from the fear of being seen by others — the fear that
our masks won’t cover the component we wish not to be seen. If we can get to
know these parts of ourselves we wish to hide, rather than fighting to disown
them, it can liberate us. In the end, people see us. We’re only hiding from
ourselves.
For
many knowing our dreams, our destination remains a mere wish…..the dream seems
to be a long run dream, but I really want to be carefree, away from the world’s
grudges. But does it mean I want to escape. Escapism is the word, the word
which means to be carefree. I just want to run away, run away from the choices,
choices I made, choices I had to make, choices I make every day. Why can’t God
give some signs, He did not even when He was asked for them. Why does He enjoy
all this, have fun with the choices the people make. I just want to run away
from the judgements and endless suggestions of the people. There are always
choices around, but why do we not see them when we should. Why do they become
visible very late? And trust me choices once ignored or missed haunt us
forever.
Oh God!
Why can’t they live and let others live too. Give space and take space. Let the
person be human. I am not a machine which needs instruction manuals, just let
me be human. I want to run from the shackles of do’s and don’ts, and guess you
have no say in deciding do’s and don’ts. I want to run away from this
artificial and nonsense formality which really has no meaning. I want to run
away from unwanted actions forced upon me, often it is said – you will get this
if you do this. Always incentive based on emotional atyachaar.
I just
want to be me, just me, the real me. I am tired of faking and pretending. Please
let me be me. I want to sort myself. I just feel like cleaning the whole
wardrobe. Emptying everything and putting back the things I want, piece by
piece, as I want. I just want to fly free. But do not want to fly too high as I
do not want to miss the weight of my cute responsibilities on my wings. I know it takes lot of courage to speak my mind, to speak my
heart. I just want to live this precious life before I am disowned by this
life. Live some moments of my life as I want them to.
I can no longer ignore the problem. The wrong choice once
made needs to be corrected, it can be corrected. And if it cannot be corrected
then I am not alive, I am not living. I am just passing through a life with a
dead soul and alive body. Something is missing, that love for life is missing. But
I am trying to be very optimistic. I knowt hings will change and they will change
for better….hopefully….someday…. J
