If wishes were horses........

Relationships are both complicated and simple. Complicated, because we don’t live in a vacuum. There are a million things that affect us. So things do get messy. And it’s perfectly normal in a relationship to have fights and feel sad and angry. Because nothing is perfect. But still, most of us reach a stage where it’s not just a small fight or misunderstanding. It’s big, and it’s consistent. You have tried to sort it out, but it’s still eating away your peace and joy. Make it loud and clear. Don’t burn inside all alone, all hurt, and all helpless. You must tell what exactly is bothering you, every single, minute thing, even embarrassing, even the stupidest thing. Just pinpoint everything. Write the things down if you can’t say them on face. This will set you free.

Average human lifespan is 75 years. that's 900 months. And even in those 900 months, we spend so much time doing things we don't want to do. We spend so much time pleasing people we don't even like. We spend our time filling rows of excel sheets or writing thousands of lines of code.

So when you turn 75, and your knees feel weak, and your mind feels slow - all you will have is regrets. the regrets of the things that you could've done in those 900 months. Trips you could've gone on in those 900 months. 900 wishes that you could've fulfilled that are still on your wishlist.

We keep chasing happiness in things that aren't even real. We get so lost in chasing these things that we forgot about the real happiness. The happiness of falling in love, the happiness of making someone smile, or the happiness of just sitting with your love in the balcony and talking the entire night.

We get so caught in the life between Monday to Friday or 9 am to 5 pm, that we forget to love ourselves on those Saturday mornings. We get so tired of the schedule and the deadlines that we forget about the biggest deadline there is - the deadline of your life.

Learn to forgive. Learn to live. Learn to laugh alone, and with your loved ones because when you are weak and alone at 75 these memories will be the only thing that will give you the strength to stay alive.

I have felt many things about love. From wanting love to hating love, I have lived through many phases. I have smiled in love. I have cried in love. And somewhere along, I grew up. I grew up in my soul. Maybe, I understand love better now. I understand myself better now. So I do know how I want to love next, maybe for the final time. We try to play cool and cold. “I don’t want to be in love,” we declare. But secretly, somewhere in that little corner of your heart, you do want to find a special person and fall in love. I am brave enough here to openly say that I do think about finding the love of my life and how that love story will be.

I absolutely don’t want a normal love story. No. I don’t want to evaluate a person before I fall in love. I don’t want to tick the usual checklist of this tall, this educated, this rich, or from that family. No. I want to fall in love without all this practical and societal nonsense. I want to fall in love with his eyes. Like one look, and sold. Boom! I know it sounds stupid. But love is stupid. Real love is stupid. Real love is for crazy. I want to fall in love for one reason alone. And that reason will be love.

And then, I don’t want to live like friends. No. I have friends. I don’t want another friend. I want passion. I want heightened emotions. I want the fire. I want us to stay in love, mad, passionate love. There should be romance. There should be impulsiveness. There should be that longing. There should be that tickling feeling of the first kiss, daily. I know you will say the excitement fades away. But no, your love fades away. And that’s ordinary love that fades away. That’s why I said I want special love.

Beyond that, I have thought of a million things. But that’s not important. Just love is important, mad, passionate, real love. Everything else will work out, I know. People say adjustment and forgiveness keep a relationship alive. Bullshit. Only love keeps a relationship alive, real, passionate, pure love. I want that.

The stupidest thing people do in love is to believe that it will last forever. We should expect breakups. I am just saying that don’t be God. You don’t know what will happen. You don’t know what’s written in destiny. The only thing you know is that you have this moment. And in this moment, you are with the person you love. And that should be your goal. To live every moment. To live in the present. And to love as if there is no tomorrow. Sounds too filmy, not practical? It’s filmy. It’s not that practical. And it’s very rare. But that’s exactly why so few people are happy. Happiness is rare, my friend. Pick anyone around you, and that person will have a sorry love story to tell you. One thing will be common in all those heart-aching tales: “How can that person leave me, how?”

That’s how things roll here. People change. Things change. Feelings change. True love never changes. But how many get true love? One out of hundred, at very best. So, sweetheart, chances are that the love you are in right now will most probably not last forever. just go with the flow. Just love freely. Don’t put the baggage of forever on your love life. You two might be good people at heart. You two might even want to be together forever. The chances are that you two will drift apart. How? Life happens. Love is rare. Need is common. We need another hand to hold. We need someone to call our own. We need a name after that “I love you.” We need a body to hug. We need lips to kiss. We need flesh to make love. That need is the naked truth that we push under the carpet. We talk about heart instead. We talk about souls.

The harsh truth is people can fall out of love. And it's okay. Love is not a prison of forever. They think that they can't unlove. But eventually, they all do. Some, listen to their own heart. Some listen to others' sorry.

People with soft hearts suffer from their mistakes and from the mistakes of others. Since they feel too much, there is always that extra pain in the heart and that extra time to heal. And the worst thing is that they adjust too much. First, they will adjust and give more time and care to others. And then, they will adjust and ignore their career because they feel so heartbroken when that person leaves. So it’s like suffering twice with every person they allow close. It’s such a simple, naked fact. But nice people don’t realize it until they suffer too much and too many times. They keep collecting scars and keep smiling. They trust again after getting betrayed once again. They do it because they still want to be a good person. They don’t want to give up on hope and goodness. But there comes a truth slap with time that breaks them to a point of no return. The soul finally screams “enough is enough.” And in that moment of truth, they decide to change. 

Most people give up again after a while, going back to what they always were. But some people change. They become more practical. They learn to say no. They learn to keep their emotional distance. They learn to love themselves more. They learn to make their career and dreams the priority. And most importantly, they learn to smile when others call them selfish and rude. They grow up. They might not be the most liked person now. But they are much happier. And there is peace.

 So I want to become those few people who end up changing after those night tears and muted screams. We, humans, are complicated. And relationships are even more complicated. We end up hurting even the people we love and care for. You can’t change this. You can't have it perfect. But you can change yourself and become stronger in your mind. You don’t have to feel guilty for not making everyone happy. Stop trying that. Just live for happiness and peace. Let people stay if they are adding to that. And let people go if they are stealing that from you. Keep life simple.