Gurez - An Offbeat Paradise

For so many years living in Delhi, handling the tough life, travel has been that soothing balm on my sores of life. Travel to Kashmir has always been healing. But travel to #Gurez has been a next level experience, enchanting……

                                                 

First stop, Srinagar, the largest city and the summer capital of the Indian territory of Jammu and Kashmir, where I soon found a sumo -- a local taxi that can fit up to seven people -- that took me to Bandipora in northern Kashmir. After an hour at the Bandipora bus stand, my eyes peeled for the sumo to fill so that the driver would take me onward, I heaved a huge sigh of relief when a sumo rolled up that was headed for #Gurez. It is only 81 km away, so I expected to be there in just a few hours. Little did I know the state of the roads that lay ahead of me.

                              

After cruising smoothly out of Bandipora, sumo soon moved onto the curvy roads leading up high. As things below got smaller, the road ahead got bumpier. So bumpy that I had to hold my head to stop it banging against the roof. Razdan Pass, I lost myself in the clouds that, with the sun shining down from above, looked as if they were dancing on the peaks of the mountains. The journey into the Greater Himalayas speaks for itself — enchanting and fulfilling. The preface has been gratifying —as you look down from the roadside, and tilt the head upwards, the #HarMukh gleams back. It is up till #Tragbal that a few dabhaas, offering snacks with nun chai. The snow-capped Himalayan mountains make their appearance as we cut across the Razdan Pass at 11,672 ft. For people fond of remote locales and who want to enjoy a peaceful holiday without phones, crowds, and the hustle and bustle of the big city, few places on Earth can match #Gurez. Cool breeze flutter rows of green flags at the shrine of Peer Baba, which is under Army’s patronage.

                                            

Passing by a dozen iron gates and army bunkers, where at one point I was made to show my identity and register, after seven hours I finally crossed the Kishan Ganga River and entered the town of Dawar. The best thing was no network, no one to disturb that solitude. The Kishanganga power project here has changed the landscape. Touching Dawar, the headquarters of #Gurez, is stepping into another world: mountains rising high on all sides, water compellingly flowing, creating its own melody, wooden log houses amid meadows.

                              

And the sumo stopped and soon enough my eyes adjusted and I was able to make out some known figure in the crowd. It gave me a tingle of excitement. The freshness in air, the gushing water sound and Habba Khatoon peak, pyramid-shaped peak named after Kashmiri poet #HabbaKhatoon right infront of me. The Kishanganga power project here has changed the landscape.

                                                           

I was guided to a hotel, a wooden structure with basic amenities. After settling down and having a cup of noon chai, the dusk setting in. Soon we went for a walk, beside the river, serene, calm and soothing, next to the waters of Kishanganga with Habba Khatoon, a pyramid-shaped limestone rock, rising tall and magnificent, overlooking Dawar, behind us. It is not just a colossal stone, but with it the memory of Habba Khatoon, wife of last Kashmiri Muslim king Yusuf Shah Chak, is permanently engraved in the minds of the people of #Gurez. A woman, poetess, queen and a beloved, who is believed to have been wandering in the valley, in search of her lover, Habba Khatoon is the essence of Kashmiri thought process.

                                               

Next day we set out in the morning for #Tulail and #Badoaab, the beautiful villages that mark the last check before #Chakwali, the line that divides India and Pakistan. Stopped few times for registration and identification checks, I felt lucky to have my #Dardi companion, who knew the routes, language, and shortcuts so well. And he knew how to handle all the men in uniform, so many children playing cricket in the streets. Another sign of how this remains a place without many of life's modern conveniences. There is no internet connection of any kind and only a few hours of electricity a day, which is supplied by generators belonging to the Border Security Force. Jio and BSNL are the only network providers — that too, till Dawar

                                 

The #Gurez Valley is home to the Dard tribe, the aboriginals of this land. The Dard people are an ethnic group found predominantly in Gurez and the adjoining regions, and also in northern Pakistan, North West India and eastern Afghanistan.

 Though a part of Kashmir yet so different from Kashmir and #Kashmiriyat!!!

                                                     

Kashmir's Gurez Valley remains a slice of the old world even in our dark times. Its physical isolation has preserved its environmental and cultural treasures. While its modern history has been plagued by war tensions, it may come as a surprise to many that this picturesque valley was once the gateway to the famous silk route across Asia. Gurez Valley is today one of the far-flung regions of Jammu and Kashmir, cut off for nearly seven months every year. It has also kept it largely unchanged.

                              
The language of the Dard tribe is Shin, also known by the names Sheena, Sina. The region where the Dardic language Shin was spoken extended from Gilgit, Yasin, Satpara, Baltistan and other areas in this Himalayan belt. This wide belt spread over thousands of kilometers. With such a glorious history, it was not surprising that this region should be home to wondrous archaeological treasures.

                                                   
Even today, Gurez does not have regular supply of electricity. Generator power is available only for a few hours every day. Wi-Fi and internet are alien words for most people of the Dardic tribe who have never been out of the valley.

                                                   
Today, rolls of concertina wires – barbed, razor wires – cut across the undulating slopes of Gurez, hurting cattle and smaller animals. The barbed wires confuse the gentle villagers of Gurez. They cannot figure out why their valley, where crime is rare, should be slashed haphazardly by these menacing wires.

                                 
Gurez has a unique richness in terms of fauna and flora. The valley is home to beautiful, exotic flowers and plants. Gurez has now become an area of international interest. In these hectic, modern times, the quiet and slow life of Gurez seems like a slice of history from an ancient time. As Gurez comes more prominently on the world map, it will change. Perhaps in a few decades from now, it will be different. Insha Allah!

The main attractions of Gurez are its historical status, archaeological sites, and the local population that still live by their ancient traditions and culture. Gurez is blessed with lush green alpine forests, gushing fresh water of the Kishanganga, lush meadows and snow-capped beautiful mountains. A tourist wishes to see true natural beauty, not artificial parks and gardens, and this is what Gurez is bestowed with.

                                                        
Life is difficult in this beautiful but harsh region, where temperatures plummet to minus 10 degrees in the winter. Here farming remains an activity for the entire family and is still virtually the only source of income. People grow potatoes, kidney beans, apples and corn. Everything is organic. For six months, from November to May, Gurez is completely cut off from the world, buried under 6 meters of snow. This is what makes the valley such a tranquil and striking place to visit, but a perilous place to live. I spent my days soaking up the high mountain air, the valley's snow filled, its gushing river and numerous streams.

                                                    
Many from Gurez, particularly the ones who could afford to, have moved here in Bandipore due to extremely harsh life conditions there, but they remain distinct. The Partition divided this ancient Dard-Shina civilization geographically, and even their hearts with families and kin pushed to either side of the LoC.

Water sports, trekking and cycling can become main attraction of the place. Gurez is still in the infant stage of development. Gurez is a virgin place and I invite people to explore it because other places like Sonmarg, Gulmarg and many more are overrated now. If the captivating beauty of Kashmir can refresh your tired mind then it would not be a gaffe to say that the pastoral Gurez can gift you with some of the most rejuvenating moments of your life.

Born and brought up in the lap of nature, I connect very well to the sounds of nature and find music in every sound from chirping of birds to sounds made by wind and the breeze and the buzzing wild bees. The people of Gurez are hopeful the such events will also happen in the future and connect them to the outer world. Quiet and peaceful destinations are often linked to introverts, but I discovered another truth: that there are actually people who truly understand the value of solitude as well as how to properly savor it. That is what Gurez taught me -- and I am definitely one of life's extroverts.

                             
Leaving Gurez as the sun began to set, I wondered what would change there over the next decade.

 #HabbaKadal is in downtown, Srinagar, where houses are like conjoined twins.

If wishes were horses........

Relationships are both complicated and simple. Complicated, because we don’t live in a vacuum. There are a million things that affect us. So things do get messy. And it’s perfectly normal in a relationship to have fights and feel sad and angry. Because nothing is perfect. But still, most of us reach a stage where it’s not just a small fight or misunderstanding. It’s big, and it’s consistent. You have tried to sort it out, but it’s still eating away your peace and joy. Make it loud and clear. Don’t burn inside all alone, all hurt, and all helpless. You must tell what exactly is bothering you, every single, minute thing, even embarrassing, even the stupidest thing. Just pinpoint everything. Write the things down if you can’t say them on face. This will set you free.

Average human lifespan is 75 years. that's 900 months. And even in those 900 months, we spend so much time doing things we don't want to do. We spend so much time pleasing people we don't even like. We spend our time filling rows of excel sheets or writing thousands of lines of code.

So when you turn 75, and your knees feel weak, and your mind feels slow - all you will have is regrets. the regrets of the things that you could've done in those 900 months. Trips you could've gone on in those 900 months. 900 wishes that you could've fulfilled that are still on your wishlist.

We keep chasing happiness in things that aren't even real. We get so lost in chasing these things that we forgot about the real happiness. The happiness of falling in love, the happiness of making someone smile, or the happiness of just sitting with your love in the balcony and talking the entire night.

We get so caught in the life between Monday to Friday or 9 am to 5 pm, that we forget to love ourselves on those Saturday mornings. We get so tired of the schedule and the deadlines that we forget about the biggest deadline there is - the deadline of your life.

Learn to forgive. Learn to live. Learn to laugh alone, and with your loved ones because when you are weak and alone at 75 these memories will be the only thing that will give you the strength to stay alive.

I have felt many things about love. From wanting love to hating love, I have lived through many phases. I have smiled in love. I have cried in love. And somewhere along, I grew up. I grew up in my soul. Maybe, I understand love better now. I understand myself better now. So I do know how I want to love next, maybe for the final time. We try to play cool and cold. “I don’t want to be in love,” we declare. But secretly, somewhere in that little corner of your heart, you do want to find a special person and fall in love. I am brave enough here to openly say that I do think about finding the love of my life and how that love story will be.

I absolutely don’t want a normal love story. No. I don’t want to evaluate a person before I fall in love. I don’t want to tick the usual checklist of this tall, this educated, this rich, or from that family. No. I want to fall in love without all this practical and societal nonsense. I want to fall in love with his eyes. Like one look, and sold. Boom! I know it sounds stupid. But love is stupid. Real love is stupid. Real love is for crazy. I want to fall in love for one reason alone. And that reason will be love.

And then, I don’t want to live like friends. No. I have friends. I don’t want another friend. I want passion. I want heightened emotions. I want the fire. I want us to stay in love, mad, passionate love. There should be romance. There should be impulsiveness. There should be that longing. There should be that tickling feeling of the first kiss, daily. I know you will say the excitement fades away. But no, your love fades away. And that’s ordinary love that fades away. That’s why I said I want special love.

Beyond that, I have thought of a million things. But that’s not important. Just love is important, mad, passionate, real love. Everything else will work out, I know. People say adjustment and forgiveness keep a relationship alive. Bullshit. Only love keeps a relationship alive, real, passionate, pure love. I want that.

The stupidest thing people do in love is to believe that it will last forever. We should expect breakups. I am just saying that don’t be God. You don’t know what will happen. You don’t know what’s written in destiny. The only thing you know is that you have this moment. And in this moment, you are with the person you love. And that should be your goal. To live every moment. To live in the present. And to love as if there is no tomorrow. Sounds too filmy, not practical? It’s filmy. It’s not that practical. And it’s very rare. But that’s exactly why so few people are happy. Happiness is rare, my friend. Pick anyone around you, and that person will have a sorry love story to tell you. One thing will be common in all those heart-aching tales: “How can that person leave me, how?”

That’s how things roll here. People change. Things change. Feelings change. True love never changes. But how many get true love? One out of hundred, at very best. So, sweetheart, chances are that the love you are in right now will most probably not last forever. just go with the flow. Just love freely. Don’t put the baggage of forever on your love life. You two might be good people at heart. You two might even want to be together forever. The chances are that you two will drift apart. How? Life happens. Love is rare. Need is common. We need another hand to hold. We need someone to call our own. We need a name after that “I love you.” We need a body to hug. We need lips to kiss. We need flesh to make love. That need is the naked truth that we push under the carpet. We talk about heart instead. We talk about souls.

The harsh truth is people can fall out of love. And it's okay. Love is not a prison of forever. They think that they can't unlove. But eventually, they all do. Some, listen to their own heart. Some listen to others' sorry.

People with soft hearts suffer from their mistakes and from the mistakes of others. Since they feel too much, there is always that extra pain in the heart and that extra time to heal. And the worst thing is that they adjust too much. First, they will adjust and give more time and care to others. And then, they will adjust and ignore their career because they feel so heartbroken when that person leaves. So it’s like suffering twice with every person they allow close. It’s such a simple, naked fact. But nice people don’t realize it until they suffer too much and too many times. They keep collecting scars and keep smiling. They trust again after getting betrayed once again. They do it because they still want to be a good person. They don’t want to give up on hope and goodness. But there comes a truth slap with time that breaks them to a point of no return. The soul finally screams “enough is enough.” And in that moment of truth, they decide to change. 

Most people give up again after a while, going back to what they always were. But some people change. They become more practical. They learn to say no. They learn to keep their emotional distance. They learn to love themselves more. They learn to make their career and dreams the priority. And most importantly, they learn to smile when others call them selfish and rude. They grow up. They might not be the most liked person now. But they are much happier. And there is peace.

 So I want to become those few people who end up changing after those night tears and muted screams. We, humans, are complicated. And relationships are even more complicated. We end up hurting even the people we love and care for. You can’t change this. You can't have it perfect. But you can change yourself and become stronger in your mind. You don’t have to feel guilty for not making everyone happy. Stop trying that. Just live for happiness and peace. Let people stay if they are adding to that. And let people go if they are stealing that from you. Keep life simple.

 

No more a dumpyard.....

 

I am a very basic, simple person at heart. If I like you, I like you a lot. And if I don’t like you, then I absolutely don’t like you. So it should make my life simple and transparent. But that’s not the case. Things always mess up. And I am not saying that it’s always their fault. It has been my fault too. 

I just think no one understands me. Some try, but they fail. Maybe, they go by my image or the things I say in fun. Maybe, I feel too much. And people don’t do that anymore. They want to touch the water. But they are scared to dive deep into the water. And I am ocean deep. I keep most people at hi-hello. But when I make you my person, I want it to be pure and real. 

Are you getting me?

It’s not only about a relationship. Even in friendship, I want it to be genuine and heartfelt. I value the time I give to someone. I value when I call you my own person. It matters to me what you have said to me. I take most things casually. But if I am serious about you, then you have to show the same level of commitment and priority. Otherwise, things pinch me right in the heart. And I can’t pretend to be fine. It will show. It will show on my face and in my words. And you won’t even find that thing significant for it to matter. But they matter to me. The little things mess up my head big time.

I show as if I am the coolest and most savage soul in town. But the truth is that I am very tender in my heart. I get attached too much. I get too much involved. I fill my head with our imaginary scenarios. I imagine. I plan. I dream. I expect. And that’s how I create my own disappointment in people. I expect you to mean your words and not change with time. But people don’t understand that. They start to judge me as a problematic person. They think I overthink. They think I overreact. But they never notice that I over-gave, that I over-cared, and that I over-loved too. They fail to see my rainbow. They just complain about the storm. 

They just see the water. They don’t feel its depth. And I think that’s what I will always be, an ocean too deep for them to ever understand.

In my past, I was very different person. I was not what I am today.

Once I started loving someone, I didn’t know how to unlove. they slowly become such an important part of my life that they become a habit. Even when they hurt me, I felt like I can’t live without them, and so I tried to justify the pain. I tried to reason out their actions because I knew it – life without them is unimaginable.

The number of times they cancelled plans made with me or were not around when I really needed them to be there for me is uncountable. the time when they broke my heart, I still believed that there is a good side to them. it was really hard not to.

When I used to be madly in love with someone, I didn’t know how to love myself without them. I gave them so many chances, much more than they deserved. All of it, because I knew that no matter what they do, I would still love them. I would always love them.

I cannot ignore it anymore. I don’t want to be the one when you don’t have anyone else around you.

I always want to be valued as a friend. it hurts to feel this way, but now i have started to feel like I am some dump yard to everyone’s boredom. as if I exist for them only when they are out of options and to help when in need.

One of the worst kinds of feelings is the feeling of being used. and I am sorry, but that is what I feel a lot. I am always the one apologizing for acknowledging my worth. And so many people out there are like me. we are kind. and we are just too kind to turn our backs.

But I guess there’s a threshold even for the softest of hearts. i am too tired now. I am too tired of being backpack to happiness. I am too tired of going to bed every day feeling so alone.

No one asks me how I am. No one checks up on me without reason. No one ever made me feel like they are there when I wanted somebody, too.

Kya yahi pyaar hai.......

 

Sometimes it was only meant to share a moment of time with each other. Sometimes friendships and relationships are not built to last forever, they are built to teach you a lesson. Maybe both needed to learn something from each other that no one else in the world could teach you at that time. 

Maybe both were perfect for getting each other through a terrible storm together. In life, we fall out with people that we never thought we would. Get betrayed by people you trusted with all of your heart. And get used by people you would do anything for. 

But life also has a beautiful side to it. You will get loved by someone you never thought you would have. on most days, our phone calls have uncomfortable silences and we don’t open up. and then, there are days we don’t disconnect the call until it’s 3 am.

I put myself first, sometimes. I bail out of plans when I don’t feel like going. I cancel dates at the last minute. I walk out of the room when I have an argument. I am not easy to love.

I have my flaws. I trust too often. I love too hard. I find it hard to let go. it’s not easy with me. Little things hurt me. I tell the wrong people my secrets. these are my little imperfections.

But it’s okay. sometimes, I don’t have to apologize for being myself, for being someone who is not good with people.

I just don’t have to be too hard on myself. I am not perfect. I am imperfect and so is everyone else. All humans are imperfect.

Shut up about this “love only happens once” nonsense. Love is about happiness and peace. It’s a feeling of being at home with a person. If you don’t feel peace and happiness, it’s over. It’s approved by God. It’s perfectly moral. 

You are still a perfectly wonderful human being, no guilt. 

Big Hug.

Ye Kashmir hai......Ye Kashmir hai.....

“Gar firdaus bar-rue zamin ast, hami asto, hamin asto, hamin ast.” “If there is a heaven on earth, it’s here, it’s here, it’s here.”

       

Indeed the above statement thrilled me all along throughout life geographically, till I really went there and saw it all for myself……

A trip which will be unforgettable and cherished all through life indeed for the beauty of the place as well as warmth of the people.

I being inclined towards Sufism, could not have reached to a better place than Kashmir – the land of Saints. It is bestowed with Sufi wealth. Some of the shrines have historical importance in addition to religious significance attached to them. These shrines belong to both Hindus and Muslims and are visited by thousands of devotees. The renowned Darqawi Sufi teacher Ahmad ibn Ajiba, has explained Sufism “a science through which one can know how to travel into the presence of the Divine, purify one’s inner self from filth, and beautify it with a variety of praiseworthy traits.”

Kashmir is not only home to the vast cultural and ethnic diversity but also the myriad arts and crafts that have been carefully nurtured for the centuries. A variety of motifs, techniques and crafts flourished in the land as the people from different regions flocked through this beautiful place and many of the skilled craftsmen decided to settle amidst its charming abundance of natural beauty. With time, these arts have gained even more distinctiveness and today Kashmir is known for woollen textiles, Pashmina shawls, embroidered suits, Kashmiri silk saris, papier machie, woodcarving, chain stitch and crewel furnishings, hand knotted carpets and lots of other traditional crafts.

Undoubtedly, the situation in Kashmir is troubling. Many countries still have travel advisories in place for Kashmir due to "terrorism and civil unrest". The substantial military presence in Kashmir may also be unnerving for tourists. On the other hand, it can be argued that the attacks are isolated, and aren't an accurate representative of Kashmir and Kashmiris. The ground reality isn't necessarily as bad as what is often portrayed, and the incidents mainly take place in certain problematic areas. Safety is also subjective. It depends a lot on what tourists do and where they go.

It's important to keep in mind that Kashmiris have problems with the Indian administration, not with the people of India or anyone else. Tourism is an important industry and source of income for them. Even the mainstream separatist groups have nothing against tourists and say they must be left alone. Anyone who visits Kashmir should keep in mind that the people there have suffered a lot, and should be treated respectfully.

Kashmir is a predominantly Muslim area, and I found the local people to be particularly warm, friendly, respectful and polite. Even when I was walking through so many parts in Kashmir I was surprised by how little I was harassed -- a huge contrast to many other places in India. It was very easy to fall in love with Kashmir and to want to return again soon.

We were caught in traffic jams at many places, and the traffic comprised all kinds of vehicles ~ loaded trucks, civilian cars, armoured vehicles and jeeps of security forces, autos, motorbikes and bicycles. Of course there was a security man standing guard with his rifle almost every 100-200 metres. But the picture of the ebb and flow of near normal life that we had seen was far from “mass civil disobedience” or resolute “civil curfew”; instead it looks like resilient life adjusting to the new realities without many hiccups. An average Kashmiri yearns for peace.

Kashmir is never going to disappoint you. It is a lot more than blasts, blood and terrorism. I now have a home in Kashmir that too in a remote village. I would surely visit again and again.

Some of my close friends encouraged me for this trip and I made innumerable friends for life. Pandemic times had put lot of fear. Landing in Srinagar was like a dream come true, stepping on the land I belong to. I met Shahid. We took a day to get into comfortable mode. I sat in front with Shahid while we drove everywhere. Loved the music he played and the conversations we had from all walks of life. Thanks to the kindness he showed, he was no longer just a driver. He became a good friend and we talked a lot along the way. I appreciate his kindness and think of him and his family with gratitude. He was my photographer and a true travel companion for 9 days. We got along as if we knew each other from years. I would recommend him for every tourist in Kashmir.

I visited Ashmuqam (Anantnag), Baba Reshi Sahib Shrine, Baramulla, Bandipora, Bomai, Chandigam, Char Chinar, Charar-i-Sharief, Chashme Shahi, Fatehpora, Dal Lake, Dastgeer Sahib, Devir, Gulmarg, Habba Kadal, Hazratbal Shrine, Jamia Masjid (Srinagar), Kandi Forest, Kheer Bhawani Temple, Kupwara, Lolab Valley, Makhdoom Sahib Shrine, Manasbal Lake, Nehru Park, Nishat Bagh, Pahalgham, Pari Mahal, Rampura, Rajpora (Khudgoo Mungluu), Shalimar Bagh, Shankaracharya Temple, Sogam, Tangmarg, Uri, Wular Lake.…..may have missed some…. It was quite hectic for 9 days….

Born to the Kashmiri Pandit parents, but being away from the real Kashmir almost whole my life, except some years of childhood and some annual trips till I was a teenager. I had lots of memories about the place but never could connect personally. This visit made me feel, breathe and see the real Kashmir. During my whole stay in the magical valley, I was only connected to the people not from my community. And not for a second did I feel out of place. I belong here and this is mine. Inshallah.

When it comes to hospitality and warm welcome, no one can match up to Kashmiris.

Noon Chai - The tea. The Kashmiris love their teas and you be spoiled for choice. A usual day Kashmiri household begins with noon chai (salty pink tea) and breads early in the morning followed by Lipton tea with breads (Tomle Tchot – made of Kashmiri Rice flour) before noon. Evenings usually there is another round of tea.

Wazwan - There are several multi course meat dishes (Wazwan) I relished almost all of them all the days both meals. Sitting cross legged on the floor with Dasterkhaan (tablecloth) spread, hands get washed by a tash-near (a jug and a basin combo), which is passed among all and a traem (platter) comes in front with a long minced kabab and rista and chicken and what not…….and no forks and knives and spoons…….eating with hand is sone pe suhaga. A major difference in Kashmiri wazwan is absence of sweets.

Kangiri – a small portable fire pot made of earthenware, tucked underneath the pheren. What surprised me was that people kept it tucked even in their beds under their quilts and remained safe.

Pheren – a traditional outfit of Kashmiris – an elongated loose fitted woollen robe, worn during winters. Women wear pherens embellished with an intricate needle, ari or zari embroidery while men wear plain and simple ones in solid colours.

It brings to me the fact that the world is a friendly place even for a single traveller if you place your trust in people and go with the flow. I would not be exaggerating if I say that I have lost my heart in that magical valley.

 

Don't trust rumors about Kashmir...

Go and see for yourself, you will fall in love with every tear you come across….

Despite of everyday struggles, people are loving and welcome everyone with open arms……..

Kashmir needs help....

Stop negativity against Kashmir.